"A Successful Marriage"

February is the month we celebrate Valentine’s Day.  I hope to use this month to preach some messages concerning our home and family relationships.  I really believe the stronger the family, the stronger the local Church will be. I have shared the following thoughts with many couples that were considering marriage.  May God help all of us to understand these truths.  Looking at Genesis 2:24-25, we see three elements of commitment in marriage:

1. We are to leave our parents which means severance.   That means you are now on your own.  At birth, the umbilical cord was cut – now the apron string must be cut too. You are not to live with your parents, not to depend upon them to pay your bills, not to let them make your decisions (though it would be wise to glean from their wisdom and experiences). Your life is to be built around the Lord and each other.

2. We are to cleave unto each other, which means permanence.   The idea of cleaving means a “life long marriage - no divorce - death only shall part you.”  If a couple does not agree to this, I cannot perform their wedding and have a good conscience before God!

There is a Biblical ground for divorce in Matthew 19.  These verses deal with sexual sin (fornication).  If Jesus granted permission for divorce, this pastor believes there are biblical grounds for re-marriage.  However, be it understood that divorce should never be considered an option!

A Christian Counselor gave the following statistics that were very shocking: 

“Of couples married under the age of 25, the average marriage lasts no more than 7 years.”

“Nearly 70% of couples interviewed said they would not marry the same person again, if they had it to do all over again.”

These two thoughts should cause us to think.  My mother always said, “Taking the marriage vow is tying a knot with your mouth that you cannot untie with your hands.”

Marriage is serious and should be understood that a vow is being made to keep you together until DEATH (not debt) alone should part you!

3. We are to be one flesh, which means unity & acceptance.    When we become one flesh, we become one in purpose and in goals. “Blessed are the man and wife who is ONE.”

The reality of becoming one flesh involves a sexual union.  This is why God’s plan is for a man and woman to not have a sexual relationship until the marriage has taken place (Hebrews 13:4). Hollywood and the world have made it something other than what God had intended it to be.  Sex is pure and holy within the bounds of marriage, but outside of marriage, it is sin!

To have a successful Christian marriage, you must be committed to Christ.  He desires your heart (your complete person), soul (your attitude - the spirit of man) and mind (your thoughts).

We must be committed to our companion.  Leave your parents - cleave to each other - until bereavement comes. Have the attitude of Jacob and his love for Rachel (Genesis 29:15-30)

Also, we need to be committed to our children. 

Ø      Teach them (Deuteronomy 6:7 & Isaiah 38:19)

Ø      Train them (Proverbs 22:6)

Ø      Control them (I Timothy 3:4 & 3:12; Proverbs. 13:24; 18:18; 22:15; 23:13-14

We also need to be committed to our Church.  Be a part of it.  Get involved in it, attend it, accept from it, appreciate it, appropriate it, and advertise it.

Commitment is not the only important element of a successful Christian marriage, communication is very important as well.  Learn how to talk to each other.  Learn how to listen as well.  It takes a lot of sharing in conversation to make marriage work.  The average couple spends less than three minutes per day in communication!  Learn to talk, play games, and share in how you feel while communicating.  Be a companion that can be trusted as you communicate.

JESUS CHRIST wants to be the head of your home.  It is true that the husband is the designated head of the home and his wife is the heart.  The man should be subjective to Christ and a godly wife will have no problem being submissive to her husband.   (Colossians 3:18-21  & Ephesians 5:21 - 6:4)

May God help us to have the heart for our homes that He wants us to have.